two months.

Jack,

Stop. Growing. Up. The speed at which you are doing so is scaring me. Pretty soon you won't be a baby and then there will be tears. Here are the stats from your two-month check up: 13.3 lbs, 23.5 inches long, and a head in the 97 percentile (yet again). You are in size 2 diapers and already wearing 3-6 month clothes (though admittedly, they are a little loose).

The last few weeks have been a huge improvement for us both. We are both less cranky and have healed from the trauma that stemmed from our new situation (you being new at life, me being new at motherhood). I don't think there is any permanent damage. You started purposefully smiling at me at about 5 weeks. The smile would be a rare gem since your usual composure reflected concern and seriousness, but now you do it all the time and it's great. It's like you are staring at me deep in the eyes, deeper than anyone else has, and then you smile a smile that lights up your whole face and even goes down into your shoulders. You don't do things half way. You smile most when I'm singing (you're the only human known to enjoy my voice). You are also starting to breathe really hard when you get excited and start kicking like crazy.

We have started a bedtime routine, which you love. We give you a bath, let you hang out with dad for a little bit while I clean up, feed you, burp you, sing to you, and put you right to bed. I tried adding a book in there, but you only enjoy books when you aren't tired. You actually don't enjoy much of anything when you are tired for that matter. We made some progress this month in terms of day naps, which is partly the reason for my returned sanity. You can usually only stay up for about an hour (up to an hour and a half on good days) before you fuss and need another nap. There are a lot of days you don't nap so well. We call those bad days, but the reasons those days are tolerable is twofold: 1) I love you and 2) you are a rockstar sleeper at night. You do 7 to 8 hours straight most nights. You were going to bed at 10pm and waking up at 6 for a few weeks, but for the past few days, you've insisted on going to bed by 8:30, which is probably more realistic for a wee baby. So now you wake up around 3:30/4 and then again at 6/6:30 to eat, and finally around 9 for your official start to the day.

You love to make your legs stiff as a board, especially when you are upset, and you put your weight on them when we hold you up. You're still very observant. You can find me and your dad from across the room and like to stare at the tv, especially when basketball is on. I'm not even kidding about the basketball. It's sadly true. You suck on your whole fist like a popsicle. When we try replacing it with a pacifier, you get really mad.

I really do love spending every day with you. It's so fun to watch you grow and be so sincerely happy. It probably took me until this past week to really feel like a mom. You are my baby boy and I'm finally understanding what exactly that means. Your dad asks me quite a bit as we stare at you with wonder, "What would you do without a boy?" It's totally hypothetical, but guiltily in those first few weeks, I knew exactly what I would do. I could envision my life before you because that was what I was used to and it was much much easier. But now. There's no way I would know what I would do without you. You are a huge part of my life, and you'll always stay that way.

Love,
Mom